When the newborn period isn’t what you expected

We often see images of blissful new mothers cradling their newborns, basking in the beauty of every moment. But what if this picturesque vision doesn’t align with your reality?

What if, amidst the nappies, sore nipples, and recovery after the birth, you find yourself feeling lost, alone, sad, anxious, resentful, and utterly overwhelmed?

For many mothers, the newborn period is a time of profound transformation and love, but it’s not always an easy path to navigate. There are those who find themselves in the midst of motherhood’s most trying moments, silently grappling with a sense of unspoken pain and heaviness.

When the newborn period isn’t what you expected

This is the story of the mothers who, for various reasons, don’t quite enjoy the newborn period as society expects them to.

Western society, in particular, places immense pressure on new mothers to embrace the sleepless nights and relentless demands of a newborn with unwavering gratitude. It’s what they signed up for, after all, right? (Is that not the most harmful thing to say to a mother?!).

But what if they don’t feel that way? And, where is the much-needed practical help and emotional support from this society, they wonder.

It’s okay not to like it

The important thing to remember, mama, is that it’s okay not to fit into the mould of societal expectations.

It’s okay if the newborn period doesn’t feel like the life that you envisioned with your baby.

It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling and to yearn for moments of solitude amidst the sleep-deprivation and the sense that you’re drowning in motherhood.

You’re not alone

So, to the mothers who find themselves in the shadows, know that you are not alone. It’s not uncommon for new mums to feel just as you do.

Rest assured that life will get more manageable. One day at a time.

Remember to take care of yourself, seek support when needed, and know that there is beauty in your parenting journey, even if it feels immensely hard and all-consuming right now.

You might like to read the following articles for reassurance and the available resources:

• 20 positive affirmations for new mums
• 12 things we wish we knew about the fourth trimester
• Free professional advice and support for new parents
• Matrescence: Changes in the brain when becoming a mother
• 12 reminders for new mums who are ‘drowning’