Navigating Mother’s Day without your own mum

‘There is something about losing a mother that is permanent and inexpressible – a wound that will never quite heal’ (Susan Wiggs, Author).

Losing your mum at any age means that you miss out on sharing many of life’s milestones with her. When you start a family, you not only become a mother, but you must navigate this stage without a mum of your own. Even the times that should be the happiest can be the most challenging.

When your mum isn’t here for Mother’s Day, it can take on a whole new meaning, full of feelings of grief, loss, and love.

There is support and guidance available

Thankfully, it is possible to feel less alone navigating motherhood without your mum. Motherless Daughters Australia recognise and validate your struggles and grief during a time when many of us need our mums the most. They are a not-for-profit organisation that supports and connects women and girls whose mothers have died.

This beautiful organisation aims to raises awareness and recognition that:

• Mother’s Day is a difficult time.
• They exist as a support network and invite anyone and everyone to help raise their profile to reach those in need.
• Every day can be a struggle.
• Grief and happiness can coexist.
• Mother loss is so under acknowledged, unrecognised and that it is life altering.
• It is a celebration of their community and sisterhood of women who support each other every single day.

Motherless Daughters Australia (MDA) not only wants to raise awareness of the unique bond and the depth of grief a woman experiences when she becomes motherless, but their mission is to establish and seek connections and platforms to give women a voice on a deeply personal topic that is often hard to share.

As we lead into Mother’s Day, all of the advertising, social media posts, and promotion emails can be relentless and upsetting. That’s why they’ve developed their Draw Her Wings initiative. Sketch using any medium, on any surface, a set of angel wings, and share it to social media telling your story of progress as a Motherless Daughter, as someone who is connected to mother loss, or simply to show your support for a great cause.

Draw Her Wings – in the air, on your hand or on your arm, in the sand or in your notebook. Anywhere! It’s a symbol of remembrance and hope, and a celebration of their proud community of motherless daughters lifting each other up.

To help spread the word, use their awareness week hashtags: #drawherwings #mothersday and tag friends and family to spread the word and spark a worthy conversation. Tag @motherlessdaughtersau on Instagram.

More tips that might help you cope this Mother’s Day

• Acknowledge that it will be a day of sadness and reflection. Accept any painful feelings that come up, rather than avoiding them.
• Take some time out to think of what your mum taught you. You might like to write these thoughts down to keep a record of everything you’re most grateful to her for.
• Spend the day with your family, rather than on your own. If you have a mother-in-law or a mother figure, plan something lovely for the day together.
• Talk about your mother to your children, and show them photos.
• Do something symbolic to celebrate her. This might be lighting a candle, buying her favourite flowers, or playing her favourite music.
• Send us a DM on Facebook to ask any questions to our community, or to let us know how we can help to make Mother’s Day more bearable for you. We see you, mumma.