The Secret Files – October 2021

This is the secret files ….An anonymous and safe space where we encourage you to tell secrets and stories of all kinds.

The wonderful, strong mumma’s below have submitted their story anonymously to share with the NBB community. Please don’t hesitate to get something off your chest and submit your secret today!

 

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As a single mum by choice with family basically stranded overseas because of the international border situation, it’s been a tough first week and a half with my newborn. Friends have been willing to help when they can and I am grateful for the help, but it’s also frustrating when these friends have no idea how life with a newborn is and aren’t sensitive to a new mother’s needs.

For example, sending flowers is a thoughtful gesture but this single mumma does not need an additional “living thing” to look after on top of a baby, a cat and herself. Also, constant texting about time and “are you already up?” and “do you want food/this/that?” before coming over isn’t really ideal when you’ve got both hands full and really can’t be bothered replying to messages on your phone.

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Whenever I have a bad day and feel like a failure as a parent, I look at pictures of when my baby was a newborn and compare them to now. I then realize that I have helped this gorgeous human transform from underweight and tiny to topping the charts and reaching milestones early What a success story!!

It may look like nothing is happening but so much already has.

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I am only 9 weeks pregnant so can’t tell anyone at this stage but I am suffering ALL DAY SICKNESS and I feel like I want to die! I’m grateful to have gotten pregnant but I’m so incapacitated (even with doctor’s prescription medications) and I have to look after an 18-month-old toddler.

Hubby is doing what he can but he works full-time and can’t keep taking sick days off to help me. I don’t trust anyone else to know this early yet to help out so I’m suffering in silence and it’s really killing me.

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I split up with my partner under traumatic circumstances when my bub was 2 weeks old. Since then, I have been doing everything myself. The parenting, cooking, cleaning, shopping, providing, everything.

While I love my little boy, I can’t help but hate my situation.

I will never trust another human being again so there’s no chance of ever having another relationship. I just hate that my life will always be like this, I hate being a single mum and I feel as though happiness is something I will never find.

I see a psychologist, I do everything I can to look after my mental health but I just don’t see this situation getting any better ever.

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I constantly wish as a new mum that older family members would stop judging and telling me how to parent, and then make me feel bad for how I take care of my child when it works for us and his needs.

It is interesting to see the changes in parenting styles over the years and I think there are many ways to parent correctly (as long as everyone is looked after with true love and care it doesn’t matter). Others who parent like me seem to discuss what we do away from others as if we are being judged.

This shouldn’t be how parenting feels for anyone! I wish I could stand up for myself, but what if I’m wrong? Who knows!?

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The other day I said fuck in front of my little boy and he said it back 10 times louder. Whoops!

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Sometimes I lock myself in the pantry to get some alone time from the kids …. Every moment counts

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